Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I know why the caged Toucan Sam sings


En uno de esos días en los que no hay trabajo y una se hace mensa frente a la compu (como hoy) estaba yo revisando los archivos de una página de Saturday Night Live y encontré este sketch de 1997 en donde David Alan Grier imita a la poeta Maya Angelou en una serie de comerciales de los productos menos pensados para hacer poesía: Pennzoil, Butterfinger y Froot Loops. Recuerdo haber visto uno en su momento en alguna repetición hace algunos años y recuerdo haber reído como una idiota, así que no descansé hasta encontrar el texto de esos fake commercials y, después de risas idiotas que me han alegrado los últimos tres días, aquí están esos poemas, espero que su estúpida brillantez los haga reír tanto como a mi.

Maya Angelou for Pennzoil
The Pharaoh, the serpentine Nile, Grecian grottoes marked by eons passing,Pennzoil.
The choice of champions.Rick Mears, four-time Indy winner
O! Magic shining ewer of liquid ball bearings
Battling armies of viscosity and thermal breakdown.
Pennzoil! Change oil!Every five thousand miles.
Keep out of reach of children.
Pennzoil is a registered trademark!Freedom.

Maya Angelou for Butterfinger
The wind. The rain. The fire. The Butterfinger.
Did the Caveman know your delicious goodness?
Did the Mayan Priest exhalt in your buttery crunchiness?
Did the slothful Mastodon, upon his extinction, declare,"Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger?"
Oh, you finger of butter!You proud confection!
Sugar brown roasted peanuts,fructose, glucose, sucrose, lactose,partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil.Crispity, crunchity, peanut buttery-- I... give... myself... to... you.
Butterfinger.
Glad mantle of golden chocolaty hope upon my breast.

Maya Angelou for Froot Loops
Toucan Sam, you leap on the back of the wind, load stone to assorted fruit flavors, Phoenix of the dawns, one smile.
We gave you, Toucan Sam, life.
You, Toucan Sam, give us loops of fruit.
Fruity loops, Fruit Loopies, swimming in the churning, frothy mother sea of milk, Kellogg's appreciates consumer comments, P. O. Box 221, Battle Creek, Michigan, a prism of fruity color, a cornocopia of over forty fruity tastes.
The orange, the apple, the grape, the pomegrante, the quince, the kumkwat, the kiwi, the planitain, the guava...

5 comments:

Daniel said...

me agrado el poema de Butterfinger, que se puede decir de ese exquisito chocolate que hace que tus dientes se peguen, Saludos

Solioquio Exótico said...

Buena oda a los "frutilupis"... Jajaja... qué compartida del buen humor!

Hydrocodone said...

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bXBsTd actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

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